I’ve been trying to write my Lyme disease story for days but it just hasn’t felt right. I just realized that it’s because I don’t really want to go back there. It seems like a distant, blurry dream and I’m ok with that.
I want to move forward.
In light of this, I will give a super brief version of my Lyme story and move on to the good stuff…what I have learned and what has helped me heal the most. I hope you find some inspiration that helps you on your journey.
I’m one of the lucky ones. I figured out it was Lyme (+ company) after four months, not years like so many of you. That was three years ago. I could barely get out of bed. I could barely make it to the doctor.
I was living the Lyme nightmare. After two leaves of absence from work, I had to quit my job. I applied for disability but couldn’t deal with the paperwork. So I took my medicines, slept, freaked out occasionally (translation = frequently!), did a lot of energy work on myself, went to counseling, meditated when I could…and waited.
Fast forward to today…I am working about 15 hours per week and have started a blog/business to help others who are working on healing from chronic illness. After my last round of antibiotics, I made it three weeks (versus just days) before having to go back on them. I can shovel snow, haul firewood and WALK! I still have a lot of limitations, but if I compare them to before, I basically have superhero powers. Now…where did I leave my cape…?
What I’ve learned from Lyme disease:
- Most (if not all) of my ‘stuff’ is emotional in origin. Working on the emotional level is the quickest way to experience change in the body.
- Part of why I got sick is because I felt stuck in every area of my life. My psyche needed an out and a fresh start.
- I’m a lot stronger than I thought I was.
- I’ve discovered new talents and passions.
- It’s ok to accept help (emotionally and financially). I’m worth it.
- Either everything is perfect or nothing is perfect. I’m not sure which. Life is sometimes contradictory, so maybe it’s both.
- I need to surround myself with positivity to thrive. I only read stories of people healing. It is hurtful, not helpful, to hear and read about people who are not getting better or who are playing victim to their illness. At some point, I realized I needed to focus on what I DID want and not what I DIDN’T want.
The most important thing I came to understand while healing is that pesky little Law of Attraction most of you readers are probably familiar with. It’s the universal law that states that the vibration you give off is what you will attract back to you.
For me, studying and practicing this principle has literally saved my life. I was stuck in a place of powerlessness (or so I thought) but the Law of Attraction taught me that was just the story I was telling myself. I could rewrite the story any way I wanted. Sure, there is a huge level of responsibility in living this principle, and who wants any more of that?
But with responsibility comes freedom, liberation from the mental slavery (ala Bob Marley) that so many of us have lived in for so long. Understanding this concept has given me the strength to keep going through the tough times more than any other single thing on my healing journey.
While the Law of Attraction says that we humans, on a vibrational level, attract our own illnesses, it is not suggesting we are to blame for this. We do not become ill as a punishment, but rather as a wake up call. Illness functions to teach us awareness of our emotional systems and how to better take care of ourselves. It is here to teach us how to listen to our feelings, assess them and figure out how to feel better in our bodies and minds.
“But, Cari,” you say, “I am using this principle but I am not getting better.” or “I can’t do this in my current mental state. What do I do?” Well, frankly, I don’t know! But I’d love to help you figure it out!
In my process, it has taken multiple surrenders to what is, TONS of patience when I thought I wasn’t getting better, and letting myself fall apart when I need to. Also, in retrospect, I know there were times when I thought I was using this principle but in reality I was slipping back into my destructive patterns of thought.
I fully sympathize with feeling like you can’t direct your thoughts during Lyme (or any) depression and anxiety. I have experienced both of these my entire life and I get it. I am not telling you to just ‘think positively’ and you will get better. If someone were to say that to me, I just might shoot fire out of my eyeballs! My best advice is to practice this when you are in a good place.
I got started with some CD’s from the Abraham Hicks website http://www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofattractionsource/index.php. They have proven a fantastic way to absorb the information. Listen, practice what they teach and try to get it to latch onto your brain just enough to maybe make a teeny difference, to help you feel a tiny bit better. Keep going. Keep going. Don’t give up!
“How much control/influence do we really have in our own healing?” What do you think?
To your healing!
Click here for a Free Report on 7 Tips for Working with the Emotional Challenges of Chronic Illness @ goodfortunegirl.com.